Relationship therapy
Modern relationships can be complicated – there are so many ways now to have intimate and/or sexual connections with others. At some point, most of us need some support to work out what we really want from our intimate relationships, and how to have the most mutually authentic and rewarding connections with others that we can. Relationship counselling and psychotherapy is one of the most effective ways to do this.
Relationship work is not just for straight couples, but can be a help to anyone who has an intimate committed relationship to another, and who finds they are having problems sustaining that.
Do take a look around our practice and if you have any questions or would like any more info do get in contact with our practitioners. We would be more than happy to help you on your journey to a better, more fulfilled life.
What’s involved
People often turn to counselling or psychotherapy for their relationship when what used to feel romantic, supportive, exciting, sexually playful and fulfilling seems to have lost much of these qualities. Instead, being with the other evokes a painful amount of irritation, boredom, conflict, sexual frustration and a sense of either being trapped or let down by the other. If these painful feelings take up too much of the time and space in a relationship, people can begin to fear they can’t or shouldn’t sustain their connection with the other and it will have to end. Insecurities, personal histories, fears and the breakdown of trust can make it difficult to fully enjoy each other’s company. These emotions are common in relationships, and most people experience them sometimes. But when they start dominating the relationship and partners don’t seem to be able to move on, then therapy and counselling can help. In relationship therapy you can look closely into what you appreciate about and would like to keep in your relationship, and what you’d like to see changed. You and your partner can come to a better understanding of how conflicts are usually created and how each of you deals with them; also, what issues you each find difficult to talk about, and when you feel both misunderstood or not listened to.
For some, the therapy is seen as a ‘last resort’ to salvage the relationship. Others use sessions as a way to keep their relationship healthy and address any underlying concerns that may become conflicts in the future. For a few people, the therapy is the best way to finally come to a good enough resolution that the relationship ought to end and to manage this with less bitterness and hurt.
You can’t repair a relationship in one or two sessions, but in time, therapy can offer you a way to help people understand why they chose to connect to each other, and how a rich, enduring link with someone else can be built and sustained.
Approaches used in relationship therapy
12 approaches, as practised by the therapists listed here. Open any one for a brief description.
Integrative psychotherapy6+
Integrative psychotherapy draws on more than one tradition rather than following a single school. A therapist working integratively has usually trained in depth in one approach and added others, and chooses between them according to the person in front of them rather than applying one method to everyone.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)4+
Cognitive behavioural therapy looks at the links between what you think, how you feel and what you do. The premise is that patterns of thinking can keep difficulties going, and that changing what you do can change how you feel.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy3+
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is interested in how earlier experience, much of it outside everyday awareness, shapes present relationships and choices. It pays particular attention to patterns that repeat.
Transactional analysis2+
Transactional analysis offers a plain vocabulary for what happens between people — the roles we fall into, the scripts we learned early, and the exchanges that leave us feeling small or stuck.
Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR)1+
Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing was developed for trauma. It works on the basis that some memories are stored unprocessed, so that they continue to intrude with the force of the original event.
Gestalt therapy1+
Gestalt therapy attends to what is happening now — in your body, in your awareness, and between you and the therapist — rather than mainly explaining the past. The aim is contact with experience as it actually is.
Play therapy1+
Play therapy is therapy for children conducted in the medium children actually use. Rather than being asked to explain feelings in words they may not have, a child plays, and the therapist works with what emerges.
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy1+
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is the most exploratory of the talking therapies. It works slowly and in depth with unconscious processes, and is usually open-ended rather than fixed to a number of sessions.
Psychosexual therapy1+
Psychosexual therapy addresses sexual difficulties and the emotional and relational context around them. Work may be with an individual or a couple.
Relational psychotherapy1+
Relational psychotherapy takes the view that people are formed in relationship and are best helped in one. Rather than the therapist standing outside as an expert, the connection between the two of you is treated as the main instrument of the work.
Hypno-psychotherapy0+
Hypno-psychotherapy uses hypnosis — a state of focused attention — to work with the subconscious, most often on unwanted habits, limiting beliefs, anxiety and sleep.
Humanistic psychotherapy1+
Humanistic psychotherapy starts from the view that people have their own capacity to grow, and that the therapist's task is to provide the conditions in which that becomes possible.
From the articles
All articles →
When Good Enough Isn't Enough: Understanding Perfectionism.
Perfectionism is often worn as a badge of competence — but beneath the high standards and relentless drive, it can quietly exact a significant toll.
Read the article →
How Couples Therapy Helps New Parents Manage the Pressures of Starting a Family
Many find the pressures of parenthood, sleepless nights, and changing roles can strain their relationship. Couples therapy provides a supportive space to navigate these challenges.
Read the article →
Healing Through Feeling: Integrating Mind, Body, and Emotions
Healing isn’t just about thinking or analyzing — it begins with feeling. By integrating mind, body, and emotions, we can reconnect with our inner experiences.
Read the article →
Why am I feeling so anxious? Understanding anxiety as a natural part of grief
One often overlooked response to loss is anxiety, which is a completely natural part of coping with the death of someone close.
Read the article →
The Body Remembers: A Somatic Healing Approach to Emotional Pain
Emotions we ignore or suppress do not simply disappear — they often get stored in the body, and over time can manifest as tension, discomfort or illness.
Read the article →