Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)

How Couples Therapy Helps New Parents Manage the Pressures of Starting a Family

Becoming parents brings both excitement and unexpected challenges for couples. Many find the pressures of parenthood, sleepless nights, and changing roles can strain their relationship. Couples therapy for new parents provides a supportive space to navigate these challenges, strengthen the relationship, and prepare for the emotional ups and downs of becoming parents.

Healing Through Feeling: Integrating Mind, Body, and Emotions

Healing isn’t just about thinking or analyzing—it begins with feeling. Our emotions influence how we communicate, behave, and relate to ourselves and others, often in ways we don’t fully notice. By integrating mind, body, and emotions, we can reconnect with our inner experiences, release trapped emotional energy, and cultivate deeper awareness, balance, and wellbeing.

Why am I feeling so anxious? Understanding anxiety as a natural part of grief

Grief can bring a wide range of emotions, many of them unexpected and overwhelming. One often overlooked response is anxiety, which is a completely natural part of coping with the loss of someone close. This guide explores how anxiety can appear during grief, why it happens, and offers gentle suggestions for support and self-care.

The Body Remembers: A Somatic Healing Approach to Emotional Pain

The mind and body are deeply connected, and emotions we ignore or suppress do not simply disappear—they often get stored in the body. Over time, these unresolved feelings can manifest as physical tension, discomfort, or illness, signaling the need for healing. Individuals who are disconnected from their emotions or who carry past trauma may notice these feelings emerging somatically, revealing the profound link between emotional and physical health. By recognizing how unprocessed emotions show up in the body, we open the door to deeper healing, resilience, and overall well-being.

Just Breathe—Or Is It Deeper? How Breathwork Helps You Heal and Reconnect

Modern life can leave our nervous systems in overdrive—especially if we’re carrying unresolved trauma or chronic stress. Breathwork for trauma healing offers a gentle yet powerful way to reconnect with your body, calm your mind, and begin releasing what no longer serves you—one conscious breath at a time.

Discovering Autism at 50: My Journey to Late Diagnosis and Self-Acceptance

In this deeply personal piece, the author reflects on the experience of being diagnosed with autism at the age of 50. Through moments of recognition, grief, and ultimately self-acceptance, they explore what it means to reframe a lifetime of experiences through the lens of neurodivergence—and the freedom that can come with finally understanding yourself.

The Mind-Body Connection in Therapy

The mind-body connection is a powerful and often underutilized tool in therapy. By understanding how mental and physical states are intertwined, therapists can help clients achieve deeper healing and overall well-being. This article explores the significance of the mind-body connection in therapeutic practice and offers insights on how integrating this approach can enhance the effectiveness of treatment.

From Fear to Confidence: Managing Maths Anxiety Effectively

Math anxiety is a common challenge, but it doesn’t have to hold you back—especially when it comes to exams. Recognizing the signs of math anxiety is the first step toward overcoming it and building confidence in your skills. With the right strategies and support, you can break the cycle of fear and approach math with a more positive mindset. Whether you’re preparing for a test or looking to improve your relationship with numbers, there are ways to manage anxiety and succeed.

Is my therapist racist?

Race and racism can be particularly difficult topics to address and assess within the therapeutic relationship. Although all therapists are expected to reflect on and minimise their own biases, racial or otherwise, it’s not possible to entirely mitigate them.

Embracing Neurodiversity: How I Practice a Neuro-Affirming Approach to Counselling

As a late-diagnosed AuDHD (autistic and ADHD) counsellor, I completed my training before there was much awareness of neurodivergence. My own therapists did not pick up on my neurodivergence, and so, for many years, I put all my social anxiety, overwhelm, black and white thinking, boom and bust ways of working etc down to a dysfunctional upbringing.

How to calculate counselling fees? A guide for counsellors.

There are various ways businesses decide what the price should be. Some companies check the competition to see how much others charge, some calculate their counselling fees by costs and add a profit margin on the top…

Psychological Resilience – why it’s important and ways to build it

I find human beings ability to change and grow fascinating! I became interested in the topic having had my own reserves tested through a particularly challenging time, so I started…

Bereavement, loss and grief

Bereavement, loss and grief are universal human experiences Although grieving is a natural process and a natural response to bereavement, loss and grief still affects everyone differently. Sometimes the anguish…

What is Psychoanalysis?

It’s a shame the father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, has become somewhat of a mockery in popular culture. The Freud cartoons are often very funny, but serve to add ridicule to his ideas; those very ideas that have profoundly influenced and changed our society…

Marketing for counsellors: How writing counselling profiles may be similar to tinder?

Marketing for counsellors is an underexplored subject within our profession and even less explored when it comes to advertising online…

How to survive the coronavirus isolation when living alone?

Self-care is important in every day-to-day life, but especially when we find ourselves in isolation. With the Coronavirus spreading, isolation is becoming the norm for the elderly and vulnerable…

Are counselling and psychotherapy practices safe for face to face work after the pandemic?

The current pandemic has impacted various areas of our lives including how and where we access counselling. Although initially, the majority of sessions moved to the online domain…

Eye Movement Desensitization (EMDR) in West London

Our psychotherapists offer EMDR in West London, a treatment that was proven by research and welcomed by clients suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

What is cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy and how can it help?

You may have heard of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT); a foundation of modern psychological therapy which empowers you to tackle unhelpful thinking and improve your wellbeing

TRAVMA DEDEKTÖRÜ ‘EMDR’

TRAVMA DEDEKTÖRÜ ‘EMDR’ Dünyayı nasıl gördüğümüz, çevremizdeki insanlarla kurduğumuz ilişkiler büyük ölçüde bellek ağlarımızda saklı olan yaşam deneyimlerimizle şekillenmektedir.

Bożena Skarbek - Cielecka

Biography:

Born in Poland, studied in Cracow Iberic Studies (language and literature) and was a French and Spanish teacher for twenty years then changed completely professional direction for psychotherapy. Finished Postgraduate Studies in Music and Art Therapy then decided to deepen the therapy interests focussing on Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. Awarded with European Certificate for Psychotherapy in 2020. Great interest in Group Psychotherapy. Studied Modern Group Analysis with New York Institute of Analytic Studies. Completed Diploma in Group Analysis. Member of Group Analytic Society. Passionate about helping to make everlasting positive changes in people`s lives. Integrates different therapeutic approaches to get the best therapy results, planting “seeds of love” in people`s hearts.

For more information or to book a session, contact her with details at the bottom on this page.

Date updated: 10.11.2024

There is no doubt that it is essential to understand one another to have good social and personal relationships and being able to “think about thinking”, or mentalizing, helps us to do this. When mentalization is compromised, communication issues arise, impacting our connections with others. This article explores Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) and its profound impact on improving emotional regulation, effective communication, and fostering positivity.

1. The impact of Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) on our lives and people around us

Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) plays a pivotal role in emotional regulation, effective communication, and promoting positivity. It centres around mentalizing, which means seeing ourselves from the outside (imagining how others see us) and seeing others from the inside (imagining what the other person is thinking or feeling).

Mentalizing, or the ability to understand our own and others’ mental states, is crucial for navigating relationships. During times of stress, our capacity to mentalize can diminish, leading to a “Mindless” state. MBT focuses on stabilizing the sense of self and managing emotional arousal, preventing overwhelming personal experiences from escalating. By adopting a curious mindset, MBT encourages exploring different perspectives and enhances empathy and compassion.

2. Curiosity and unlocking “Wise Mind”

Curiosity (instead of judgement) is the secret to unlocking the “Wise Mind” within the MBT framework. The mind tells us what we think and feel and why we behave as we are. Practicing mentalizing involves listening with curiosity, exploring various perspectives, and embracing the unknown. Working with the MBT model, we consider feelings, thoughts, beliefs, desires, and motivations. This curious approach expands the “Wise Mind,” and as a result, we can have better relationships with ourselves and others.

3. Signs of good and poor mentalizing

Good Mentalizing involves being aware of thoughts, active listening, considering different perspectives, pausing and maintaining a curious stance.

Poor Mentalizing includes certainty about one’s and others’ minds, making assumptions, ruminating (negative thinking), labelling, blaming, critical words, blowing things out of proportion, jumping to conclusions, focus on failures but never successes, not taking responsibility for our actions.

4. Balancing mentalizing poles

To achieve effective Mentalizing, we need a better balance in four Mentalizing Poles.

Cognition/Emotion (more logical mind vs impulsivity )

Self /Others (limited capacity to perceive other people’s states of mind and feelings vs focusing on other people’s minds and emotions, neglecting ourselves)

Controlled/Automatic (a requirement for attention, effort and awareness vs lack of attention and reflection )

Internal /External (reflecting on other people’s inner experiences vs making assumptions based on external things)

5. Conclusion

Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) offers a practical and transformative approach to understanding and improving our mental states, enhancing relationships, and fostering emotional well-being. It integrates the Reasonable Mind and the Emotional Mind to form the “Wise Mind.” My experience shows that Mentalizing is a process of discovering Inner Wisdom. Our integration begins with Mentalizing.

For more information or to book a session, contact Bożena at https://seeds-of-love.uk/