Karmela is an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist working with adults online and in-person in London. She mostly works with those who have concerns around identity, professional and personal relationships, and making sense of past and present experiences. Integrating techniques from psychodynamic, CBT, feminist therapy, and internal family systems modalities, Karmela helps clients explore their personal experiences and patterns within their family, community, and socio-political contexts. As part of her commitment to social justice and responsibility, Karmela has had and continues training in decolonial and anti-oppressive ways of working and is a member of The Feminist Therapy Network, The Black, African, and Asian Therapy Network, and Therapists Against Conversion Therapy and Transphobia (TACTT). She is also currently training to be a supervisor. Find Karmela’s contact details on our Practitioner page
Race and racism can be particularly difficult topics to address and assess within the therapeutic relationship. Although all therapists are expected to reflect on and minimise their own biases, racial or otherwise, it’s not possible to entirely mitigate them. Therapists, after all, are humans with imperfections and limitations like anyone else. However, if you’re racial background is part of the global majority (previously referred to as ‘BAME’, ‘minority’ or more recently BIPOC), then it is essential to your healing and safety that your therapist has awareness, sensitivity and a developed sense of accountability in engaging with racialised experiences and identities. For a white person who is committed to their own racial awareness and anti-racist development, it’s also important to have a therapist who can challenge your internalised racism as well as hold space for your own pain and difficulties in engaging with racialised issues.
Well, if they grew up in a part of the world that has been affected by European colonisation and white supremacy, they probably are on some level. This isn’t to say they intentionally racially discriminate or that they are a hateful or totally ignorant person, but it is impossible to grow up in a racialised society without absorbing some racist biases, stereotypes, and beliefs. Even people who are not white may hold and reinforce racist beliefs, whether about their own racial groups or others. Much, perhaps most, of this will be unconscious and thus must be actively sought out, explored, and challenged. This is what people usually mean when they say ‘doing the work’; ‘the work’ being dismantling internal and external structures of racism (sometimes also called ‘decolonising’ our minds or practices).
A therapeutic relationship is both transactional and relational in nature, meaning you are both paying for a service and engaging in an interpersonal relationship. Therefore, you are entitled to ask questions, both to find out if someone is offering the type of services you want and need and if this is the kind of person with whom you can feel safe in a relationship.
When you have an initial consultation with a therapist, this would be a good time to ask some questions about their understanding of and approach towards topics such as race and racism, difference and diversity, structural oppression, and systems of power and privilege. You can then start to get a feel for their approach and their comfort in discussing these topics. If they are able to engage with confidence and sensitivity in a way that makes sense to you and brings a sense of shared understanding, then they may be someone who has been doing and continues to do ‘the work’.
If they can’t engage confidently or seem very flustered or surprised by your questions, that may be a sign they still have work to do around these issues, and that’s something you will need to seriously consider in terms of what you need and are hoping for. Should they dismiss or diminish your concerns, which might sound like “I don’t see colour”, “those issues won’t affect our work”, or “I’ve worked with all kinds of people and never had a problem before”, for example, it might be that this person is lacking in the understanding needed to work safely with those from the global majority.
Perhaps you might already be seeing a therapist and they say something racist, like being racially insensitive or making assumptions about a racial group. This could be very painful, especially if you trusted them, and it may trigger feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, fear, or even shame, among other things. If you are voluntarily participating in therapy, you will have a choice as whether to try to work through it or to leave the therapy, but it’s important you feel agency and not that you must ignore and endure it, as that is not emotionally or psychologically safe.
If you decide to try to work through it, it could be a very healing and empowering experience, even if you still leave in the end. The actions of advocating for yourself and naming racist treatment can galvanise your sense of agency and self-esteem and create an opportunity for repair, which can be a healing experience. Therapeutic process often includes rupture and repair, when there is a hurt or upset in the therapeutic relationship and it is worked through. This process helps you to experience how to be open and vulnerable whilst asserting your boundaries in a relationship that is safe and without social, familial or professional implications, unlike most other relationships. You should not ever have to educate your therapist or tend to their feelings, but if they are open and can take accountability for their actions, a repair can build your confidence and deepen the therapeutic relationship.
There are certainly times when it is best to walk away for your own wellbeing and safety. If your therapist makes racist assumptions about you or others, like assuming that you come from a poor neighbourhood or that your father wasn’t around in your childhood, this is not acceptable and a sign that perhaps they are not safe to work with. Another sign that it might be time to leave is if you try to address racial issues and they dismiss, silence or invalidate you. For example, if when you share experiences of racism they expect you to prove it was actually racism or if they become defensive when you are describing your experiences of oppression (i.e. “not all white people”). Some discussion and exploration is part of the process, but if you feel you are repeatedly defending yourself and your lived experiences are being invalidated, it might be time to end. It could still be useful to have an ending conversation with the therapist, but only if it will benefit you. However, if you try to address these issues and they will not take accountability for their behaviour and instead become defensive, it’s best to move on.
Finding a therapist is a difficult process for most people as it’s a big decision and can feel quite vulnerable. This can be even more difficult if you living in a country where the majority of therapists are from the dominant racial group and you are not. One thing to look for is what they are saying on their profiles and websites. Do they speak directly to difference and diversity? Do they list any specific training or experiences in these or related topics?
As mentioned previously, it’s a good idea to bring these concerns up at the first consultation. Most of the time you will get a good idea how they will handle these issues in that first contact if you address then. If you are hoping to find a therapist who is part of the global majority, there are some directories featuring therapists from these backgrounds, such as the Black, African and Asian Therapy Network. However, as many will know from experience, having a similar background doesn’t always mean you will get the support you need, so it’s still a good idea to discuss your specific needs and expectations early on.